A lack of self-confidence is one of the biggest obstacles to reaching your goals and pursuing your passions and purpose. Each time you put yourself out to the world, it feels like a risk. But unless you do take that risk, you don't allow yourself to make your dreams a reality.
Self-confidence is a feeling of trust in your abilities, qualities and judgement. So, how do you build that trust in yourself?
1. Get in touch with how you feel when you're not confident. It can feel like anxiety, nervousness, fearfulness, worry or simply feeling resistant to taking an action.
2. Once you're clear on how it feels when you lack confidence, shift into a better feeling place. Using our trusty law of attraction processes can come in handy here. Pre-paving is a process that allows you to rehearse a situation before it happens.
Pre-paving is simply a practice of feeling and thinking of everything going your way before an event occurs.
So, before giving a presentation, going on a job interview or any situation where you want to feel confident, pre-pave by thinking of all the good things that you want to occur. Practice feeling how you expect to feel with everything working out for you. See in your mind's eye the events, people, and outcomes you want. Imagine yourself standing tall, feeling confident. See people smiling and nodding. Imagine yourself very relaxed and clear minded. Imagine the feeling of satisfaction you have with a happy outcome. The idea is to do a mental rehearsal that feels really good to you. Have fun and play with this! Intend that what you've practiced is exactly how it plays out—or something better!
3. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are a unique individual with your own contributions to make. Own that awareness! Even if you think others are more accomplished than you, don't sell yourself short. I've been in several situations where I thought I was in over my head and others were better than me only to find out my contributions were deeply appreciated. You have your own style and it will resonate with your "tribe."
4. Pay attention to your thoughts. How much negative self-talk is going on in your head? Shift your focus to what you DO like about yourself. What skills, talents or qualities do you have that you are proud of? Make a list of them and refer to it often. Remember you are a work in progress, forgive any mistakes, look at what you learned from them and be proud of your growth.
5. Deliberately shift your thinking away from questions that drain confidence to questions that empower you. Instead of, "Why do I always feel this way?" try "How would I like to feel?" Instead of "Why does this always happen to me?" ask "What do I have to learn from this situation?"
6. Think back to times when you have felt confident. Even if you have to go way back in your history, there is a time when you felt confident. Bring that feeling of confidence into your body and practice it. If you really can't remember a time of feeling confident, imagine what confidence feels like and practice that. The moer you practice feeling confident, the more it will show up in your life.
7. Take small steps that are just outside of your comfort zone. Taking small steps will better ensure your success and boost your confidence. You don't have to conquer everything at once! Once you've taken a small step in confidence, you've expanded your comfort zone. Next time you can take another, then another small step.
You can train yourself to be more confident. You'll soon get the feedback from your life that you can do and be more than you thought and live a life you love.