"I JUST want him to LISTEN to me!"
"I want her to RESPECT me!"
Who among us has not heard some version of this when we ask our clients what they would like to address in their session?
These wants point to very real human needs and the underlying pain we feel when those needs are not met.
Even as we empathetically relate to this pain, we can invite our clients to step into a richer relationship with themselves. This first step is the willingness to take responsibility for and tending to their inner state.
And this BEGINS with that first question, "What would you like to CHANGE?" The answer to this question MUST be within our client's SPHERE OF INFLUENCE.
This includes: Everything else is beyond one's sphere of influence. We cannot change that which is beyond our sphere of influence. This discussion for many clients is quite an eye-opener.
When EVERY session you have clarity on change goals and every session clients make big gains, how do you think that INFLUENCES their perception of the power they hold in their own lives?