A friend of mine lost her Mother about two years ago and was recently telling
me how difficult it still is for her to deal with her loss and what an empty spot it
left in her heart. Besides being a precious friend she is a loving wife, devoted
Mother to her own young teen daughter, an accomplished medical doctor and
quite active in her child's school as well as community affairs. Yet she lamented,
"So that's all there is to life, you are born, you grow up, raise your own family
and like Mother, you die."
I could feel her pain and emptiness; they are no stranger to most of us at some
point in our lives. Many of my readers, students and clients have already lost
parents, are in the process of loosing them one by one or will be in this position
over the next number of years. Losing loved ones, especially parents often
serves to put one's life into perspective and can be a positive life altering event.
The "rights of passage" of moving from being an adult child to being the
caregiver for a parent and then becoming the senior adult head of the family
can be an overwhelming and unanticipated burden. It can significantly zap
emotions, physical well-being and your energy if you do not mentally plan
for such major energy shifts in your life, plus do not have a good perspective
on your value as a human being.
An Ounce of Prevention
No matter what your age, the time to begin is now. Positive Feng Shui energy
is created by planning ahead so you have no regrets when the end is near.
Now is when you say all those good kind and loving things to parents and loved
ones so that one day in the future you will not find yourself wishing you would
have done so before they were gone. Tell them how much you appreciate them
not just for what they've done for you but for the type of person they are. Even
if they are not an exemplary parent or spouse, there are little things you can
find to thank them for. Make a list and tell them with each visit or phone call, or
write a letter. It doesn't matter how you do it, just do it.
If you've already lost your loved one, write a letter filled with loving memories
and all the "thank you things" you can think of. Add to it over the days if necessary.
Sign the letter, put it into an envelope and tuck it into a small memories box or
photo album with pictures of your loved one. You will find that just the act of writing
the letter will release you from perhaps years of guilt. Whether you do it in advance
or after the fact, the result is the same for you. You will no longer carry around guilt
and will no longer have the "I wish I would have said..." regrets.
Is that all there is?
At this stage in life, many people struggle with the "is that all there is" question.
This is truly a question each and every person needs to find the answer to because
how you answer this question will determine how you will spend the remaining years
of your life. In fact, the earlier in your life you find the answer to this question the more peace filled your life will be. Try using the following two universal energy principles to
seek your answer to the question "is that all there is."
Maintain a "GRATITUDE ATTITUDE" to get you through or prepare you for the hard
days of your immediate loss. Find anything you can to be grateful for even if you need
to think of simple things like; it isn't raining or it finally is raining, or the refrigerator is full of food because you just went shopping or even the peaceful beauty of the new fallen snow depending on where you live and what time of year it is.
You can even begin a gratitude journal to help you record all of the wonderful
memories together with the person you just lost, adding to it as often as you think of
something new. Be sure however to bring your gratitude journal into the present so
you recognize the value of today. Every day is filled with hundreds of positive things.
Be aware of your good fortune every hour of the day and record it. You will learn to experience and appreciate every precious moment. Remember, you exchange a day of your life for what you do today.
TREAT LIFE AS A PRECIOUS GIFT
For most people, only once you have lost a loved one or gone through great trauma
do you appreciate the gift of life and the value of a day. Times like these provide you
an open door to self discovery. Only through self discovery will you be able to find
your answer to "is that all there is." Get in touch with your creative side so your left
brain logical self will not stand in your way; paint, write, sculpt, sketch, day dream
sitting on the beach or lakeside or, light a candle in a quiet corner of your home and
just stare into the beautiful flame. Treat your life as the precious gift it is and allow self discovery to bloom.
The value of a day is exactly the price you pay for it. What you do today you do in
exchange for another day of your life. Maintain your gratitude attitude for all the good
in each day and go on a self discovery journey that will lead you toward peace and